Roscoe Feathersby, January 12, 2018
Researchers at the Trump Makes America Healthy Again Institutes (formerly the National Institutes of Health) issued the following statement today: Patients previously diagnosed with dementia have, since January, 2017, been cured of their disease. The evidence for this great cure is that they correctly answered the leading question on the standard mental status exam, “Who is the President of the United States?” A minor side effect, an outbreak of cursing, accompanies the cure in a majority of the cases.